


These prude men are not that prude

by Ely_Pines



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Asexual Awareness Week, Asexual Characters, Asexual Relationship, Coming Out, Dirty Jokes, Gay Bucky Barnes, M/M, bi steve rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 09:33:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21195482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ely_Pines/pseuds/Ely_Pines
Summary: Bucky and Steve make dirty jokes and Tony is offended.





	These prude men are not that prude

**Author's Note:**

> I'm almost late for the party but there it is: my fic for Asexual Awareness Week! This week is very important for me (and I guess my fellow aces) and this year I wanted to touch a particular subject; I often see aces defending themselves, saying they still masturbate or enjoy sex and that's important to say but sometimes, I'm just tired and feel like we trying to prove to allo people we're still "normal". So here's to aces like me.   
I'm a sex-repulsed. Doesn't mean I'm a prude.

On national coming out day, Steve Rogers, aka Captain America, the whole nation’s idol and war hero, came out as bi. Supported by Tony to make it all the more impressive, he had first teased it on Twitter then, when medias ignited, went to the most watched show on TV and revealed he was bi and in a relationship with James Barnes who happened to be gay. Uproar ensued.

For the inhabitants of the Avengers compound, however, this was nothing to be surprised of. The two of them had been spending a lot of time together, always doing things - such as going for a run, to the gym, looking for the best café in the state of New York, participating in the ladies’ book club and so on - were very cuddly with each other and even refused to sleep in two different flats when Barnes moved in. Thus everyone was very supportive of the two super-soldiers and settled on that new situation very quickly - except for Tony who was frustrated he didn’t see it was to_this extent_.

What the two of them never said was that the first one was bi_romantic_ and the second one, homo_romantic_. They considered it was no one’s business to know the specifics of their relationship. They were together and that was enough.

The thing first happened on a Monday morning. Monday was a special day in the week’s process ; Barton was having his hangover from last night’s beuverie with fellow Avengers, other heroes had been out for the week-end and weren’t back yet and as for Tony, it was supposed to be the day devoted to his company. Ie, the day Pepper could ask him to attend any meeting, give any interview and all this sort of business things - and she damn wasn’t going to let that right get lost.

“Tony, you’re supposed to be meeting Hammer’s representative in three minutes.”

She stood all stiff with her impeccable purple suit, her files firmly hold between her clenched fine fingers, smiling as ever but looking disappointed as hell at Tony’s lack of pants.

“Aw, Pep” the billionaire said, continuing to pour coffee in his ‘Dad #1’ mug, “don’t be so hard on me.”

Suddenly, there come the voice of Steve, sitting a few feet away on the couch and reading the newspapers.

“Well, this isn’t what I told Buck last night.”

His eyes flashed to his companion watering some plant near the French window that gave an astounding view on the city. Bucky snickered. Tony looked shocked.

“What the- I don’t need to know the details!” he finally yelled, turning red in the instant.

Steve laughed so hard the brunette told Pepper to have the representative wait and that he was going to be there in ten minutes, top - then he quickly escaped the room. Pepper turned to Steve and gave him her nice smile.

“Thank you M. Rogers.”

“You’re welcome.”

She was going to exit the living-room when Clint came from the other door, looking puzzled - he usually did on Monday mornings as he never had the faintest idea of what happened to him in the past twelve hours but this time, he was pointing behind him.

“Why did I just meet Tony repeating ‘fuck’ and ‘Rogers’ again and again?”

Bucky snickered again. He lifted his head, making sure to make eye contact with both his lover and Barton. His voice was soft and trembling from repressed hilarity.

“Probably because that’s exactly what I kept telling Steve yesterday.”

This was too much and the two super-soldiers burst into laughter while Barton looked even more puzzled. Pepper walked to him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“You should take your coffee and your meds for your hangover.”

Clint slowly nodded.

The commonly accepted truth was that Steve was a prude. He was coming from the forties, always watched his language - except in the middle of a battle - got all flustered and even embarrassed when people kissed in public, basically was the ninety-year-old virgin. Didn’t like to talk about sex, didn’t like to think about it as a real thing - preferred talking about patriotism.

As for Barnes, the trauma he had been through made him difficult to reach for others, both mentally and physically and sex was probably not the topic he wanted to hear about.

_So what the hell happened this morning? _Tony asked himself while not listening to the delegate of Hammer Company - until Pepper glared at him and then he demonstrated that Stark Industries didn’t need HC and produced a better product anyway without them having to partner - and later, while working on his new fancy idea - a firework suit for Morgan’s upcoming birthday. It was bothering him so much that he couldn’t concentrate and burned the lab - twice. He then decided to take action.

This evening, during dinner - that they didn’t usually take together but for a reason Tony insisted that they did - he brought up the subject of homosexuality in the forties.

“Must have been hard on you Capsicle, right? And on you too, Murder-boy.”

He deliberately ignored the glare of Pepper - how many times already she had told him to search for better surnames - and of Natasha. Barnes glared too, but it was more of a contempt glare. Actually, he immediately proceeded to forget about Stark and keep eating - with his left hand, the right one being not that discreetly holding Steve’s under the table. Captain America just shrugged.

“You know, different times, different ways to do it. And by that I mean, finding people like you and all. Even tho, sure, I got called names. Being all skinny - effeminate-looking.”

“OK, but you had to be cautious right? So, you know, nobody would catch you _doing it.”_

This time Pepper scoffed lightly into her hand but in very apparent way. Tony knew hence he was going to be lectured when they’d be alone together again. But that could be worth it, he told himself. Except, Barnes spoke - in an over-annoyed tone.

“Yeah sure ya didn’t want that to happened. But Stevie was so sick all the time, we had to sleep together lest he’d die in my arms from pneumonia.”

He finished his sentence with a smirk. One second later, Rogers chuckled and replied with an overacted fondness.

“Aw Buck, how sweet!”

And once more, they were all lovey-dovey eyeing each other. That wasn’t fun anymore. Tony had another idea.

“Wanna play ‘never have I’?” he asked after dinner.

“No thanks” Steve answered.

_Gotcha_, Tony thought. He leaned towards and smiled with all his wickedness and malice.

“Are you afraid of telling us some things, Cap?”

Natasha just walked between the two of them, pushing him away at the same time she wrapped her arms around Steve.

“Cut it off Tony. You’re being really annoying.”

But Steve smiled at the redhead letting her know he didn’t need help.

“If I recall correctly” he said, “this is a drinking game. But neither Buck nor I can get drunk. So, by all means, we’re not interested.”

“Plus” Bucky added, “I’m tired and we’ve got a mission tomorrow.”

Nat and Steve - the two others involved in said mission - nodded. Sam would have too, as the last member of their team, if he had still been there - Sam wasn’t a full-time inhabitant of the compound for, according to his own words, he intended to keep his sanity. The two super-soldiers exited the room, their arm across each other’s bulk figure. Before they crossed the threshold, Steve winked at Tony.

“But you know, if you were just looking for a way to get free sex tips, you could have asked us directly!”

They laughed and left.

Tony was furious.

It continued for the whole week. On Tuesday’s morning, Steve walked into the room and slammed Bucky’s ass while whistling. Bucky stiffened immediately and his eyes meant murder - but he eventually calmed down and told Steve to fuck off. On Wednesday’s night, there were really loud sounds coming from their floor - and on the morning, the two seemed red and a bit out-of-breath as they (not completely) shamelessly announced they had broken a bed. On Thursday’s night - which was movie night at the Avengers compound - they spent the whole movie making dick jokes (when not simply gay jokes) at every opportunity. On Saturday’s afternoon, when they got back from the gym, glistening with sweat, they made very sexual and raw comments about each other’s half-naked body. On Sunday morning, Tony had had enough.

The billionaire stood in the corner of the living-room, grasping his mug much more tightly than necessary and glaring at them. The two lovers sat on the couch, laughing at the huge sock Bucky had knitted by accident. To be honest, it was so big, they each had been able to put one of their feet inside and were joking about going for a run attached like this.

“Enough!” shouted Tony - and he slammed his mug on the nearest surface available ie, the bookshelf, spraying coffee on Bruce’s poor bonsai.

“Something’s wrong Tony?” Steve asked with his perfect smile of the perfect American boy.

“Yes! You are!”

His hands were shaking and moving in every direction possible - meaning he was too high on caffeine and too little on actual sleep. His sudden explosion of tamper had attracted everyone’s attention - that included Sam who had came early with donuts and was now talking with Rhodes, Pepper who was listening to them, Barton, bare-footed and in search for his bow or his coffee, he hadn’t decided yet - and of course, the two super-soldiers’. But it was too late, now.

“Seriously, Cap! Your mind is as dirty as any of us but yet, you still continue to play this little prude and innocent virgin persona in front of the public. Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?”

Steve stared at Tony for a few seconds. Bucky took that time to take the sock out of their feet and start unraveling it. He was smiling.

“No, I am not” Steve replied.

He rose an eyebrow.

“But what about you Tony?”

Stark frowned - and blushed.

“What are you talking about Capsicle” he mumbled angrily.

Steve spoke again, calm as ever.

“I never intended to play this _persona_ as you call it. The only thing I ever said about sex is that I’m not interested in it. And from that, people just went and assumed I’m a prude. It’s true I don’t like to hear about people’s sex life because I consider that I have no business in knowing so much about their most intimate part of their life but if you think this means I can’t make dirty jokes all the day, then you’re the asshole, Tony.”

The brunette was livid. Obviously, this was not the answer he was expecting.

“But how-” He took a short breath. “Okay, look, how can you be ‘not interested in sex’ and then bang Barnes every night this loudly?”

“Now, hold on!” said Bucky. He briefly turned to Steve. “Sorry pal - but that one’s for me. Listen Tony, if any, _I_ am banging Steve, not the opposite. And also, we are so __not__ going to do it any time soon or anytime ever, really.”

Natasha - who had been on her phone the whole time as if she didn’t care about that conversation - couldn’t help it anymore and laughed. That made Steve smile. Tony, on the other hand, was completely lost.

“But-”

He shook his head.

“I don’t understand. I heard you-”

“Tony, I’m sleeping right next to them” Natasha chimed in, a bit annoyed at how slow he was being (she had expected better from him) “and the only thing that happened in their bedroom is Steve wanting to test how good of a trampoline his bed was. The bed broke when James joined in - obviously.”

“It’s the metal arm” grumbled Bucky.

Tony sat down on the floor. Then stood up again. Walked to the shelf to take back his mug. Stared at it for a whole second. Almost drank it then renounced it. Drank it. Finally, he took a deep breath and asked:

“So, all your... dirty jokes, you don’t do them that often, right? Why did you do it?”

Steve’s smiled boomed. His friend was finally getting it.

“Mainly to piss you off.”

“And we succeeded brilliantly” Bucky added.

Tony shook his head.

“I swear, you two are going to be the death of me.”

“Oh by the way” Steve added as the brunette was taking his empty mug to the sink (not yet realizing that it would prevent him to recharge it and thus preparing him to be cruelly frustrated when he’d be down in his lab in ten minutes), “we’d also want you to know we had no idea what we were saying half of the time.”

“Fuck you Rogers.”

“Nah, that’s Bucky’s right only.”

This night, Steve was reading in bed, waiting for Bucky to finish cleaning himself in the bathroom. Then the brunette joined him so he put down his book on the nightstand and turned off the light. They settled, cuddling each other. After a while, however, Bucky asked softly:

“We’re good, tho?”

Steve thought about it for a second. His legs were intertwined with Bucky’s, he had one hand resting in his long dark hair and the other running circles on his back. Buck’s pajamas were way softer than his - his were of raw material because he had gotten used to it in the Army while Bucky couldn’t sleep without really cosy and plushy fabric.

Steve felt no wish to do something with their body, to touch his lover more than what he was already doing, no desire, no need. He could feel his heart beat near his own and his mind slowly - oh so peacefully - slipping away, numbed by the sweetness of their simple embrace. Good? They weren’t good.

They were perfect.

“Yes Buck, we are. We are forever.”


End file.
